Earning the Moron Title: Hit List

74% Boring/26% Shitty: I know it's going to break your little moron hearts but I've got nothing today. I came down with a cold on Tuesday and the little fucker has started to move into my sinuses like blow off a hooker's ass. Add to that the bizarre reality that I'm actually doing work at work and you've got a perfect recipe for a boring, shitty blog. Not that it wasn't shitty and/or boring to begin with.

I just have an excuse now.

Under Construction: Beth's improvements on the site continue apace and already the difference is staggering and wonderful. Only when confronted with your own ignorance do you realize its depth and my design ignorance is as deep as Obama's contempt for the common man. Well, maybe not. Let's not go overboard.

Bleg: I realize that my news aggregating abilities are roughly analogous to Larry Flint's tap dancing talents and I'm sending out a request for suggestions on how to optimize my news skimming. This will allow me to provide even more stupid stories about coin-thieves and misspelled elementary school signs; you know, the shit you really yearn for on a daily basis.

Ask A Moron: I have this feature I do where you ask me something... anything and I produce a post on this topic. I call it Ask a Moron. There's just one problem with this brilliant feature; nobody asks me any fucking questions.

So here's the deal. Any of you morons that trip through this shit hole want an idiotic question answered on any topic, you write in these here comments and I'll put out a response. Guaranteed.

Also, I think I need to emphasize how juvenile and amateurish the writing here is with some juvenile, amateurish graphics for my features. What do you think?

Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?

Dear Liberals: My new feature will be called 'Dear Liberals' wherein I write personal letters to explain my positions on various policies, events and philosophy. I was going to write one yesterday but the illness put me down by 8 PM like an escort at a Congressional ball.

Moronosphere Grunt Sessions: That's an off-the-cuff name suggestion for my proposal to have we Morons get together in some capacity either electronically or in reality during major/interesting political events. Somewhere we can really roast in our own idiot-juices and sound off like a monkey driving a manure spreader. Anyone think that's a good idea or are the cold meds starting to work?

Welcome Boots and Sabers Readers

I am honored to find myself on the Wisconsin blogroll at Boots and Sabers. I have been a big fan of Owen and Jed for years now and was lucky enough to be linked by them in my previous blog incarnations.

I must warn any visitors, that the name is not ironic or cute. It is dead-on accurate so be careful wandering around. It may be contageous.

If you were looking for something interesting to read, here is one of my more readable recent posts.

Now all I need to do is get out of Waukesha (place of business) enough to write some good blog posts.

Also, stay tuned for Moron Pundit's EPIC 100th Post!

Update: I only hope I handle my ridiculous new popularity more smoothly than the Kenosha News:

Stay classy, Kenosha!

Of course, we all know that Kenosha is Italian for...

Cower Before My Colossal Influence!

After this post, the U.S. Government has been spurred to action:

The United States is appealing to Turkey and Iraq to work together against terrorism following recent attacks in Turkey attributed to the Iraq-based Kurdish extremist group, the PKK. The Turkish government says it has approved all necessary measures, including a possible incursion into Iraq to deal with the issue. VOA's David Gollust reports from the State Department.

The prospect of a large-scale Turkish incursion into the relatively-peaceful Kurdish region of northern Iraq is an alarming scenario for the Bush administration.

Officials here are renewing calls for the Turkish and Iraqi governments to work cooperatively against the Kurdistan Workers Party, the PKK, following attacks attributed to the group in the past few days that have killed 15 Turkish soldiers and a number of civilians.


Sean McCormack (file photo)
The United States considers the Kurdistan Workers Party to be a terrorist organization and the State Department issued a statement late Monday condemning the latest attack - saying PKK violence not only threatens Turkey, but undermines the security and welfare of Iraq.

Let the job offers from major punditry providers commence!