Ask a Moron: Bush Causes Hurricanes Not Cyclones

Alice H. asks - Is Cyclone Nargis getting less press, despite it's massively huge death toll, because it's harder to blame Bush for something that happened halfway around the world?

As we all know, everything bad that happens, whether by action or inaction, is Bush's fault. The problem the media runs into is how to frame this argument when the event is:

• A) An Act of God


• B) All the way around the world


• C) responded to by Bush with a strong diplomatic push to allow a torrent of government and charitable aid into the stricken areas.

This presents quite a quandary. What to do?

Why, what they always do. Attempt to ignore it completely. Problem is, death tolls of 100,000 or more tend to demand public attention to some level or another. In order to maintain the charade of neutrality a news organization must occasionally pad their 24/7 Bushilter programming with some, you know, actual news.

If you remember, they had the same panicked feeling about the tsunami and the shuttle disaster. For the first few hours of coverage they reported it almost completely straight while their top journalistic minds attempted to find some angle with which to pin the blame on Bush. You could almost see the tear run down their faces when they realized there was not even a stretch move to be made.

Poor bastards.

That's why I get all my news from the Moronosphere. We may be stupid but at least we're honest. You know, like retards.

P.S.: I know I'm in the middle of a big Ask A Moron but that's going to take a week or more and this one was pretty topical. Besides, Alice rules.

In order to keep Ask A Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, my readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at the address on the sidebar.

Specifically Unpatriotic

As I mentioned recently, I find the disturbing protestations of leftists about their patriotism to be the height of inanity. Now we see them filled with faux rage at Rush Limbaugh after willfully misinterpreting statements that were neither offensive to the military nor false in any way. Captain Ed notes something that should make their heads explode:

So Rush Limbaugh supposedly calls dissenting soldiers "phony" -- he didn't, but let's run with this -- and the Left screeches about dishonoring the troops. How about calling them predators, murderers, and liars? Does that count as besmirching the troops? Will Media Matters and Harry Reid call for Code Pink to be shut down, and will Wes Clark demand that they have no access to military facilities?

Obviously everyone can agree that this behavior isn't patriotic. You might even say it is un-patriotic. I know I'm just a bumpkin midwestern conservative but if you call me a child predator, murder and liar I may get the impression you are insulting me.

Were I to point this out, I'm certain I'd get a vast array of gesticulating protestations from the left about how the right is attempting to malign them as unpatriotic. Perhaps we have a problem of specificity.

Code Pink is unpatriotic. Jack Murtha is unpatriotic. In exchange for agreement on these specific statements, I'm willing to allow terms generally used generically by the left (racist, hateful, bigoted, closed-minded, stupid, etc.) to be more specifically applied to individual conservatives or groups of conservatives.

I'll open the bidding with Pat Buchanon.

I eagerly await your counter-offer.

Update: I don't know why you come here instead of reading posts by talented bloggers like Armed Liberal. Oh well, you monkeys probably deserve me.