Tragedy and Parenting

Before I had my daughter in January, I could have never fathomed the agony a story like this must produce:

A 3-year-old girl drowned in a pool at a friend's home in Milwaukee.

Officers said it happened at a home near 80th Street and Tesch Avenue at about 6:30 p.m. Saturday.

Police said the girl might have been wearing a flotation device earlier in the day, but took it off to eat dinner.

While I can't even imagine surviving the death of my daughter, I have many family members who have lost children and they all say "You find a way, you have to."

The worst part is that the child had the water wings on and took them off to eat. This oversight by the parents will inevitably lead them to endless self-recriminations that are, obviously, undeserved. Yes, they probably should have noticed but life is fast and frantic and children are as kinetic as quicksilver. The reality is, terrible terrible things happen and no amount of care can prevent that.

I must qualify all of this by saying that I regularly go into my daughter's room to check if she is breathing and have an absolutely irrational terror about walking when my daughter is on the floor for some reason. Vivid images of me stepping on her skull flash into my mind and I almost have to immediately sit down.

Who knew you could ever care about something so much? Even with the risk of such terrible loss, I can only pity those who have chosen not to have children. I'm not better than you, I just feel sad that you'll never know the most powerful love in the world.

Moron of the Day: Child Trafficking

You know what would be a really fucking funny joke? Putting your baby up on e-bay:

Authorities in Bavaria, southern Germany, have taken a seven-month-old boy into care after his parents offered him for sale on eBay "as a joke".

The unnamed child was advertised as a "nearly-new baby" with a starting price of one euro (£0.80, $1.6).

Police have launched an investigation into possible child-trafficking by the infant's father, 24, and mother, 23.

The mother told a German newspaper: "It was only a joke. I just wanted to see if someone would make an offer."

What a couple of helmet-wearing fuckbuckets. I get so irritated when parents think it is funny to get their kids drunk or watch them fight, apparently, offer them up for sale on the internet. It's funny when your dog is drunk, not your fucking child.

On the other hand, I still don't feel comfortable with the government's ability to matter-of-factly take their child without any obvious abuse or mistreatment. It probably was a joke and I don't think that making a joke, even a truly vile and tasteless one, should result in the loss of a child.

Unfortunately, it is just the continuation of a trend. More and more it appears the government is actually the legal owners of your children and can, for whatever or no reason, take them from you under the threat of violence.

These people are retards but a retard telling a stupid joke doesn't warrant the permanent separation of parent and child. It just doesn't.

And since we're on the topic of children, here are some pictures of my perfect, wonderful spawn.

Lulu Loves Her Doggy

It was a busy weekend and looks to be an even busier week. Instead of stretching to find something to say about politics or 'obliterating Iran,' I've decided to dose you with cute.

I'll have more this evening and I'm still taking questions for Ask A Moron.

A Little Lulu Love

My daughter's favorite food? Hands.


I have her this whole week and we are having a blast. Already she's going through the motions of conversation, smiling, giggling, rolling over and trying to sit up (but failing MUCH to her irritation).

All this and she's only 13 weeks and 5 days old.

Outbreak Continues

As the father of a 12-week-old, I have to say this is getting pretty disturbing:

We learned late Tuesday afternoon there are three new probable cases of measles in southeast Wisconsin. That's in addition to the four cases already confirmed.

There's also now a case of rubella in Waukesha County. Rubella is also known as "German measles,” and it's something we haven't seen here since the 1990s.

The measles outbreak now covers Milwaukee, Waukesha, Racine and Walworth counties.

In Racine, a local doctor tested a 5th grade boy for measles and it came back positive. Officially, this is considered a probable case. Racine officials rushed a sample to the state health lab where they're working on confirming the measles.

I'm soon moving to Waukesha and we were going to enroll Lucia in the daycare in which these outbreaks started. Let's just say this is hitting a little too close to home.

One wonders, could it have anything to do with this? I'm not aware of a significant, direct illegal immigration problem in Southeastern Wisconsin but it seems very likely that unvaccinated individuals are responsible as the measles/rubella vaccine is incredibly effective unless some untreated jackoff brings it back:

Of the 66 cases of measles reported in the U.S. in 2005, slightly over half were attributable to one unvaccinated individual who acquired measles during a visit to Romania. This individual returned to a community with many unvaccinated children. The resulting outbreak infected 34 people, mostly children and virtually all unvaccinated; 9% were hospitalized, and the cost of containing the outbreak was estimated at $167,685. A major epidemic was averted due to high rates of vaccination in the surrounding communities.

As you all know, I'm not one for the government mandating behavior in citizens but the topic of vaccination is a strong exception. If you have a religious or other strong objection to vaccinations, then you should not be allowed to live among us. We have done the responsible thing and protected our children from needless, terrible diseases that should be a thing of past. If you want your kids to be retarded because of measles, that's fine. Just keep them the fuck away from my daughter.

Hey Chaika!

Here is the baby shirt I bought for Luci:



I figured I'd start her off nerdy right away.

Now, can anyone photoshop me a picture of McCain Campaign HQ where there is a Nazi flag with Himmler's face hanging on the wall?

I'd really appreciate it.

True Happiness

I now know what it is to be truly happy. Yesterday at 10:26 am I became a father. Her name is Lucia (Luci, Lulu, we'll figure out all the annoying nicknames later) and she was 8 lbs, 15 ounces at birth (10 days EARLY!).

For those of you that have experienced it, you already know. To those that haven't, I could never explain. Hearing her first scream as she entered the world is peerless in its emotional intensity.

All I can do is thank God for a healthy daughter and the opportunity to take on this joy and responsibility!

Pictures coming SOON!



P.S.: Chaika, I've already decided what to get and I'll get a picture up soon!