Friday, April 18, 2008

Earning the Moron Title: Hit List


74% Boring/26% Shitty: I know it's going to break your little moron hearts but I've got nothing today. I came down with a cold on Tuesday and the little fucker has started to move into my sinuses like blow off a hooker's ass. Add to that the bizarre reality that I'm actually doing work at work and you've got a perfect recipe for a boring, shitty blog. Not that it wasn't shitty and/or boring to begin with.

I just have an excuse now.

Under Construction: Beth's improvements on the site continue apace and already the difference is staggering and wonderful. Only when confronted with your own ignorance do you realize its depth and my design ignorance is as deep as Obama's contempt for the common man. Well, maybe not. Let's not go overboard.

Bleg: I realize that my news aggregating abilities are roughly analogous to Larry Flint's tap dancing talents and I'm sending out a request for suggestions on how to optimize my news skimming. This will allow me to provide even more stupid stories about coin-thieves and misspelled elementary school signs; you know, the shit you really yearn for on a daily basis.

Ask A Moron: I have this feature I do where you ask me something... anything and I produce a post on this topic. I call it Ask a Moron. There's just one problem with this brilliant feature; nobody asks me any fucking questions.

So here's the deal. Any of you morons that trip through this shit hole want an idiotic question answered on any topic, you write in these here comments and I'll put out a response. Guaranteed.

Also, I think I need to emphasize how juvenile and amateurish the writing here is with some juvenile, amateurish graphics for my features. What do you think?

Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?

Dear Liberals: My new feature will be called 'Dear Liberals' wherein I write personal letters to explain my positions on various policies, events and philosophy. I was going to write one yesterday but the illness put me down by 8 PM like an escort at a Congressional ball.

Moronosphere Grunt Sessions: That's an off-the-cuff name suggestion for my proposal to have we Morons get together in some capacity either electronically or in reality during major/interesting political events. Somewhere we can really roast in our own idiot-juices and sound off like a monkey driving a manure spreader. Anyone think that's a good idea or are the cold meds starting to work?

3 comments:

barslavesandbananas said...

Actually I get most of my unique material from totalFark. Signing up is pretty cheap too.

Moron Pundit said...

Good call on the Fark. Lots of good news on there.

Beth said...

Blogger is annoying, because it only allows five headlines from a feed (that Google Reader one, in your case). I don't know if you noticed, but the old version is in the blog footer since you said you might want to punt it--I just did that to see if you want it that way, or if you want it gone altogether.
As far as news aggregation goes, I use iGoogle and have a brazillion feeds going to it. I quit using Bloglines for the most part, but it's good too. iGoogle can incorporate Google Reader, though.

Another option: del.icio.us. You can tag articles you like, and you may be able to post the stuff to the blog--I'll check and see if it works with Blogger.

Anyway, sorry I got distracted for the last few days. Email me what you want next--new template, whatever--I sorta wanted to see how you did with what you have for a few days so you could figure out what needs to be changed.

BTW, do you want the Blogger navigation bar back?