Chuck Adkins: My Hero

I mean, how do you reconcile this:

I am a right leaning, Independent voter, Your typical swing voter.

... and this:

The real funny thing is, she referrers to me as a moonbat, That’s too funny.

... with this?:

Just to be clear, I do not support SCHIP, at all, it’s socialized Medicine for kids, plain and simple, let that cheapskate dad get some insurance for his kid.

There, I said it. I will not give interviews to anyone, except Keith Olbermann at MSNBC.

The one person you'll give an interview is the Worst Person In The NFL? The barkingest, rootin-tootinest Moonbat on national television? Even Bill Maher says logical things from time to time.

You sir, are a moonbat. That or just really stupid.

This was classy too:

Sounds like a title to the next Michael Moore film, or even worse a porn movie.

Update: Found via the comments - "As far as I’m concerned, these kids had it coming. I’m just sorry that the young man that did this, had to die after a shootout with the Police." This guy pretty much defies imitation.

Kim Jong: Internet Expert

He claims his skill with the internet almost matches his golfing talent:

The reclusive leader made the remark after South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun asked that South Korean companies operating at an industrial park in the North Korean city of Kaesong be allowed to use the Internet, Yonhap news agency reported, without citing any source. "I'm an Internet expert too. It's all right to wire the industrial zone only, but there are many problems if other regions of the North are wired," Kim told Roh, according to Yonhap.

Seriously, if this guy didn't exist we'd have to make him up.