Wednesday, June 4, 2008

You're Not Smart

You need DuhCorp
Does your PHP network have double back-end XHTML redundancy? Is your PDA hard drive triple access enabled for Wi-Fi management? If you don't have end-point security in your adaptive architecture strategy, then you need us.

You might not even know if you need us. Which means you need us even more. You don't understand how much you need us because you're not as smart as us. You don't understand things like Continuous Network Access Compliance Upload Speed (even though you pretend like you do at parties when people talk about it). You don't understand these things because you're not smart. But that's OK. We're smart. You can trust us.

If you hire us, you'll never see us in person. We might respond to your emails from time-to-time, but usually not. It's not that we're too busy to talk to you, it's just that your emails are usually so stupid that we're too busy laughing about them with everyone in the office.

I'm calling them today.

4 comments:

Hazel Stone said...

I don't understand the question.

Moron Pundit said...

Aww, that's adorable.

Call today!

S. Weasel said...

My main webhost is something like that. French Canadian Unix geeks. Holy cow! I can't believe how much I pay those jerks to be rude to me and blow off my emails, but they bill quarterly and I haven't gotten around to migrating everything over to nice vanilla Bluehost.

Old Iron said...

You mean you can actually contact the Lords of the Inranets DIRECTLY? I thought that my lowly position denoted that all communications to them would not in fact be ignored but would anger the man-gods and cause them to afflict me with some kind of blight.

LEarn something new every day I guess.