Friday, October 5, 2007


All right Massachoosets. You were off to a good start with that Tea Party and I really appreciated that coddling of nacent liberty bit but ever since those Kennedys moved in you've started to get on my nerves.

First of all, this name has got to go. I have enough trouble in life without having to fucking google massachu and have the correct spelling revealed like sacred mana. Take a clue from all those nifty dot-com companies and come up with something snappy for the 21st century.

Here, I'll help.

(Cue important sounding top-ten list music)

Top Ten Four Suggest Names For Massawhatever:
  1. Boston - Let's face it, that's all you've got. I mean, if you are in Mass but not in Boston you're actually in Connecticut. Don't kid yourself.
  2. Belichick Land - I'm pretty sure Belichick could walk into any house in the state, shit on the floor and light the place on fire and the owner would be on the news screaming "Did you see Billy Boy use my dooryard as a hoppah. What a wicked pissah!"
  3. United Mass. Socialist Republic (UMSR) - This works because nobody has to spell Massachusetts or even know what the fuck the 'M' stands for.
  4. Kingdom Of Kennedy - I'm not sure what severe mental damage prevents you from voting this guy out of office but I'm sure its not related to your ridiculous belief that the Red Sox are important or good. Totally unrelated.

Okay, so I don't have 10. Give me a fucking break. I work for a living. Besides, all I really wanted to do was get some hate mail. I mean, after having 'pundit' in the title of your blog, pissing off moderately large and mouthy demographics is the best thing you can do. Trust me, I know these things.

Anyway, if you're so smart and talented why don't you put your money where your mouth is and leave it in the comments.

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