Friday, November 2, 2007

Burning (Straw) Man

Is Lileks the best(non)political writer on the web? Exhibit A:
Are you still afraid terrorists will attack the Mall of America?

I was never afraid. I was always concerned. I still am; who wouldn’t be? It’s a big red target with great symbolic value. It never keeps me from going there, though. Somehow I’ve avoided the FEAR and PARANOIA and PERMANENT WAR HYSTERIA that we’re supposedly fed 24/7. You know how it goes; if you believe there’s actually a credible threat from Islamofascists – well, no, that’s not the right word, because it’s inflammatory, inaccurate, racist, and is used as a code-word for an exterminationist agenda founded in a desire to control all the oil in the Middle East and convert it to Christianity. So call it the Small but Legally Containable Conservative Religion threat, since that reminds us that all religions are equally dangerous when taken to extremes. I mean, Fred Phelps, Catholic priests, Timothy McVeigh, and that little thing called the Crusades. Also the Inquisition and the persecution of Galileo. No one has clean hands here, except for me, because I washed them before I put that clever COEXIST bumpersticker on my car. No, I’m more afraid of the Mall of America itself. You go there in December – not that I do – and see people walking around eating meat and shopping for things they don’t need and shouldn’t really have because they don’t need them, and you can almost hear the planet shriek like the music in that scary movie about the psycho, whatever its name is. I didn’t watch it. I don’t support movies that promote violence against women. Wasn’t she in a shower? Those are so wasteful. I clean myself with a pumice stone and the sharpened edge of a clam shell.

(Sorry; I just enjoy the autumnal aroma of a burning straw man.)

Of course, if you are here you obviously already read him daily. Right?

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