Wednesday, April 16, 2008

An Open Letter From Alex Cord

Dear Ace,

It has recently come to my attention that you have some type of bizarre man-crush on Jan Michael-Vincent and that ubiquitous replacement for the touch of a woman: Airwolf. I'll have you know I could kick a bull to death through that nancy-boy's chest plate without dislodging my eye-patch. You think I'm kidding? Check the goods, piss-sitter.

That's right. Fucking RODEO star.

Not only that but my immortal character lives on in an endless list of epic fan-fiction.

I don't see anybody writing seven-hundred page epics about your post-Death Star dance moves or paeans to your "wicked-awesome" D20 collection. No, the true artistry of the net is reserved for real men with white suits and limited depth perception.

Well, I'm off to shine my Golden Boot award.

Enjoy chatting with your 10,000 retard choir,
Alex Cord

Update from the Editor: Welcome Ace readers, take a look around if you can handle the stupidity. For example, watch the GREATEST ROCK VIDEO EVAR.

Today, I became a real Moron!


Beth said...

Hey, we're not ALL retards. Just 99:1 retard/evil. The Village Voice said so.

Alex Cord? What is he, some kinda Scandi rodeo guy?

Schrodinger said...

I have just about enough of this Scandi-bashing!

I'm of proud Scandi descent and what I do with handfuls of salt in the bathroom is MY OWN BUSINESS!

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