Maybe Ace Is Right

No matter how much I love being a Scandi, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be associated with this:

Organizers of Denmark's first "Masturbate-a-thon," set to be held at a suburban Ishoj nightclub, say more than 60 men and women are registered to compete.

The organizers said participants will masturbate in front of the assembled crowd and will then be judged in several categories -- including farthest ejaculation and longest orgasm

As Real Sex demonstrated, these types of events are sadly dominated by precisely the people you don't want to see doing it.

On behalf of Scandis everywhere, I'm sorry, Earth. Very, very sorry.

You'd Take Greenland From My Cold Dead Hands

Too bad the leaders of Denmark are a bunch of socialist, eco-tards:

Anders Fogh Rasmussen, the Danish Prime Minister, travelled to Greenland – which has been part of Denmark since 1721 – to present a report that sets out the road to full sovereignty. The plan, which has been drawn up by a committee of politicians from Denmark and Greenland, envisages the phasing out of subsidies from Copenhagen as the huge island makes increasing use of its rich mineral and oil resources under a thick layer of ice.

Of course, what's really going to happen is the ice coverage will expand with the coming decade of global cooling and the newly independent Greenland will have to go crawling back to Denmark for it's sweet, sweet lutefisk subsidy.

Why wouldn't I let them be independent? Strategic snowmobiling interests, of course.

Scandis Give Metal to Kids

This is why they managed to dominate Northern Europe for centuries:

A couple of Norwegian media outlets have posted video footage of HELHEIM's performance at a public kindergarten earlier today.

So to you non-Scandis (Ace), keep on listening to your Journey or whatever you jerk off too in your mom's basement. I'll keep listening to Scandi Approved Metal™