Monday, May 5, 2008

Ask A Moron: Pick Your Poison

Stashiu asks If humans were unexpectedly wiped out in a week, which would stay freshest longer... Twinkies or X-mas Fruitcake?

First of all, 'stay' should not be in this question because there is nothing fresh about Twinkies or fruitcake.

Second, I'm pretty sure that if humans were unexpectedly wiped out in a week it would be because of Christmas fruit cake.

Anyway, because the (horrifying) scientific properties of Twinkies are well known, the main variables are on the fruit cake side.

Really, it is difficult to find a person who has even eaten a bite of fruit cake let alone has conducted rigorous scientific study. I mean, have you ever actually tasted fruit cake? Anyone? Beuller?

I guess this is my answer:

In order to keep Ask A Moron a regular feature I need questions from you, my readers. Please put your questions, any question at all, in the comments or e-mail them to me at the address on the sidebar.


Anonymous said...

Okay, here's a question for you. If you're facing a massive zombie outbreak, what do you arm and equip yourself with as you make your way to a secured zone?

What is your overall strategery? Do you take a fast and light approach or heavy and slow approach, or something in between?

Anonymous said...

^Personally, I want a stiff drink and the BFG 3000. That oughta hold me.

Unknown said...
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Schrodinger said...

Eddie, that combination would satiate me in most scenarios.